I just feel like I need to rip the bandaid off. I need to expose the mystery and get down to business. Yesterday was my birthday and my people freak out every year. You see, I love gifts. I love to give them and think about them and plan them... and get them. And I feel like that is an issue for those around me. They don't know how to do it- or they think they don't. And then there is stress. Or I hear this, “Weeellll... I had something planned, but I ran out of time.” Whomp, Whomp.
Are you familiar with “The Five Love Languages?” It's a book by Gary Chapman that explains how people best give and receive love. It's very insightful and can shed a TON of light into any relationship you are in. Obviously, my love language is "gifts." That means I give and receive love the most, by giving and receiving gifts.
So this is what happens: I get gifts twice a year. MAYBE three times. And I have explained to the Man of the House, whose love language is physical touch (bleh!), that getting gifts twice a year, for me, is like... well... getting “physically touched” twice a year. Got that? No bueno.
Please consider the rest of our time together as a self-help session. For those of you non-gift givers, living with or near a gift-lover, I want to help. It really is MUCH easier than you think it is...
The night before my birthday, at 11:00 pm, the cake making began. I HAD prepped him on what I wanted. And he carried it out! Mint leaves, cashew butter, peppermint essential oil, coconut flour and all. It resulted in this beauty.... So it wasn't Baskin Robbins, but he worked SO HARD and I felt good about eating it and will have a slice this afternoon, too.
Or the birthday song. You don't even have to sing it!
Just have someone of importance sing it and then send it.
This doesn't seem like a big deal. But it is.
It was from my boss and she texted my husband
to get the scoop on what I would really like.
So sitting on my desk was a Chai Tea Latte with coconut milk.
She would never have picked that out, so the thought was lovely.
That's what giving a gift is... thought.
The Facebook post was a surprise for me... this doesn't happen.
It also touches on my other top Love Language, "words of affirmation."
Just a couple of cake balls, with the instructions "do not share with anyone!"
Fresh Flowers. Yes, they die, but they are nice.
Especially if color and variety have been considered.
These are always great when accompanied by a...
A card. With words written in it. By you, the giver.
The check in it was a nice touch. The parents still know the way to my heart.
However, a check is not acceptable from a significant other. FYI.
Family pictures on canvas. Thanks, Molly! Again, a lovely display in LISTENING. This is not something I would have always wanted- or will want next year- but he heard me this year. (I unwrapped them and we immediately hung them so they would not join the ranks of all the other non-displayed artwork!)
Let me sum this up for you. Pay attention to your gift person. It doesn't have to be expensive, it has to be thoughtful. I realize the pressure of giving gifts, to a gift giver, can be daunting. But no more than me trying to figure out how to serve my "acts or service/physical touch" husband. Loving each other is work and loving someone with a different love language is even more work. But you see, I went to bed last night with a FULL love tank. And to be honest, it's been awhile... since, Christmas, really. And when my tank is full, I am free to fill yours. Soooo... Heath's gonna get lucky. Boom.