15.

December 14, 2016

Man... It's been a while. But I have this perfect reason to post something. Tomorrow is my anniversary.

 

Tomorrow, December 15th, The Man of the House and I will celebrate 15 years. And I am thrilled. And I, also, have something to say about it.

 

The storybook, fairytale, soap opera world has made love and marriage look like it is perfect feelings and roses. That Prince Charming, will ride in on his white horse, and sweep you off your feet. He won't forget a birthday, will send flowers every Wednesday, fill your car up with gas BEFORE it drops below half of a tank, and ensure your morning beverage of choice is delivered, steaming hot, before 7:01. Aaaahhhh... lovely.

 

Not-so-realistic.

 

To counteract this inaccuracy, the Church has gone to the other extreme. There is this constant reminder that marriage is soooo hard, your husband isn't perfect, liking your spouse will not always be easy, and sticking it out is a chore. There is this feeling like there would be no reason for grace if it wasn't for marriage.

 

There is some truth to this, but it's just not the whole story.

 

Many topics in our culture have become so polarized. And marriage is no exception. On one side is the romantic comedy and the other is the horror film. The chasm between the extremes is daunting, but reality is, Heath and I have lived smack dab in the middle for most of these 15 years. We have had the bliss and we have had the hell, but that is not where we sit. We stay in the normal, the uneventful, the mundane. Sometimes even boring.

 

We eat cereal at 10:26 pm, with Netflix keeping us company. We send texts that say, "Can you grab almond milk and Veganaise on the way home?" And we compare our calendars on Sunday night. (Most of the time.) There is no lingerie or impromptu lunch dates or jewelry on my half birthday. We forget to hold hands and do not always kiss each other goodbye. Regular. We are regular.

 

But the next part of our truth? It is so good. The working hard makes the sweet times sweeter and the sweet times help us remember why we need to keep working hard. And the everyday? Well, that's where we take a breath and gear up for what's next. Sure, there are times I long for more- the whole "greener grass" thing, but that "green grass" has to be mowed, too. Part of my marriage journey has been learning to be content wherever I land on the continuum.

 

So on the eve of this milestone, I lay down a Stone of Remembrance, because "thus far, the Lord has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12) Jesus has not only helped us, but carried us. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. This faithful God will continue to do so, reminding us all the way, our life is not a surprise to Him and His purposes in every season are good. Whether we are coasting or limping or waiting, the three of us will do it together.

 

Oh Heath Forbes. You are addicted to Facebook videos, you sing all the time, and forget 62% of what we talk about. Your attention to detail is unparalleled. Your love of symmetry makes my heart hurt. But you are a server, a learner, and fighter. You love Jesus and people so well. You are a generation changer. And I still can't believe you chose me.

 

 

 

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